I hate arrogance. I hate conceit. No one on the face of the planet is better than the next person. You’re better than the shabby treatment that some people want to subject you to, but you’re no better than the next human. We’re all flesh and blood. We all need oxygen to live. We all need love. You deserve to be with someone who gets you; someone who understands you and your foolishness; someone who accepts all the stuff about you that others never would. Letting the kind of person go who doesn’t care about the things that run others away is stupid. There’s just no other way to say it – it’s just stupid.
I’m not perfect. I cuss a lot. My sarcasm can be a bit much. I laugh at pretty much everything and I’m seldom satisfied if I don’t have the last word. I overanalyze nearly everything and tend to worry about stuff that can’t possibly manifest. I do know, however, that I’m a good woman.
Tomorrow will be exactly four years since my divorce became official and the one thing my ex-husband has repeatedly told me and anyone else that would listen is that he let a good woman get away. I don’t take credit for anything I don’t do, but I know that I was a huge part of his success as one of the country’s best computer programmers and as a better person overall. I tend to push the people that I love to do better and to be better.
As a helpmeet, my loyalty is unmatched. My last boyfriend will tell you that. I stood by him through a wicked divorce and I made him feel free enough to open up in a way he’s never been able to with any other woman in his life, including his mom. I listened. I cared. I was sympathetic, but he’ll also tell you that I never sugarcoated anything for him. I told him like it was. There was a level of friendship in that relationship that was true to the fact that we’ve known each other our whole lives. Everyone knows that our families have been intertwined since the beginning of time so our union came as no surprise to anyone in this area. He knew that I had his back. He knew that regardless of what happened, he could depend on me. I drove the seven hours it took to hand him a document he needed to prove his position in his divorce hearing. I can’t think of too many other women who would have done that. Love makes you do things like that.
Self-love, however, gives you the strength you need to take your ball and go home. Under normal circumstances, that concept of picking up your ball and trucking home is considered childish – you’re supposed to continue playing the game even if you’re losing. In the game of love, though, if you’re losing because you’re being taken for granted, taken advantage of, aren’t appreciated, the love isn’t being reciprocated, or you just know that thing is not going anywhere, it’s perfectly fine for you to take your ball and go home. Being alone (i.e. not “boo’d up”) is not the hell people want you to believe it is and considering the alternative (being with someone who doesn’t appreciate your presence), it’s absolutely amazing.
In the end, you’ll be the one who got away. You deserve better and trust me when I tell you that the person who so flippantly lets you go will realize it one day, too.