Shallow and Alone

If there is one thing I despise, it’s a shallow person. Little sets me off like a person who is so stuck on looks and things that he or she won’t even attempt to get to know what’s under the hood. Man…

The chick that I unfriended in real life a few weeks ago is ridiculously shallow. I guess she always has been, but I just overlooked it. Don’t get me wrong, I called her on it every time she flashed it in front of me, but she expressed her views much less toward the end of our friendship. I will never forget the time, shortly after I reconnected with John, I was talking to her about dating, and my ex, Ron’s name came up. Ron and I were a couple in college but never lost contact. The last time I saw him in person was in December 1988 when we both graduated from Grambling and just like many people, he has put on some weight.

Like 95% my ex-boyfriends, he played football and had a football player’s body. He’s a heavy man now, but he still has the same amazing smile he did back then and he still has a way of calming me down when I get a little too high-strung. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Ron called me after I had gotten (re)involved with John and I told this chick about the phone call and her response was, “He’s fat.” I’m never at a loss for words, but I can be extremely rude so I had to pace myself. Jesus sometimes takes the wheel without me asking. He did that night. I didn’t say anything. She went on to say, “I mean look at him and look at John.” I then asked, “Are you serious?” She changed the subject.

The love, light, and joy of my life!

She even tried to compare William and John once. I shut her down so far that she didn’t call for a week after that one. I cussed. I asked her if she was forgetting that my son looks exactly like his father. I reminded her that my granddaughter looks just like her dad. Don’t get me wrong, John is an amazingly handsome man, but so is my son’s father. Looks, however, have never, and will never be what draws me to a man.


My guy and his girl.

During one of the last conversations we had, she told me that she was going on a blind date with a guy her co-workers fixed her up with. Before she even went on the date, she had decided it was just a “something to do date”. I asked her why. She went into how he wasn’t as tall as she wanted him to be and that he wasn’t dark-skinned enough. I asked her why she was even wasting his time. No answer. When she didn’t volunteer to tell me how things went, Nosy-Rosy-Trease asked a few days after the date. She was rather short and said, “He said I was too quiet.” I couldn’t let it rest there. I asked what happened and she said, “I just didn’t have a lot to say.” She had already sent me a picture of him and I’ll tell y’all, he was handsome. She dismissed him, though, because he didn’t meet up to her specs.

Now, am I saying looks don’t matter? Don’t be silly. I know people like what they like. The man I married is a 6’2″, 240 lb. pack of pure muscle. The man I fell in love with after my divorce is 6’4″ and as statuesque as they come. What do I want? What do I need? What do I demand? LOVE!! 

This past summer when my mom’s sisters were here, they reminded me of something that was instilled in us as we were growing up. It doesn’t matter if a person is black, white, brown, yellow, or any color in between — you want someone who is going to love you unconditionally. You want someone who will stand by you come what may. You want someone who will encourage you to be a better person.


I reminded this chick that she’s gained weight and aged just like the rest of us and her only comeback was, “I’m not fat.” People like her make me sick.


3 thoughts on “Shallow and Alone

      1. Hahaha! There really is nothing like the father/daughter ‘thing’. Mine are 5 and 14 so Im pulled in ALL the different directions. It’s great to see the love across the generations. ❤Loved this. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

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