In a couple of days, I will be 49 years old. Some days, I feel every second of every minute of the 48 years I’ve been blessed to live.
My knees pop and make other weird noises. This is going to be remedied when I finally get off my behind and start working out in earnest and eating better. I’ve been the queen of all slackers because I like food, especially cheesy, bacony junk as well as sugary goodness such as pecan pie, which just happens to be one of my specialties.
My vertigo gets worse with every new bout. The last time I had an episode, I was in bed for an entire day. I had tried to do a load of laundry that morning but stumbled in the kitchen, so I let it go. I hate doing laundry anyway, so it wasn’t all bad.
My vision has reached that point where I have to pull back on whatever I’m reading so I can actually read it. My son thinks that kinda funny that I have to stretch nearly everything to arm’s length to read. Whatever.
My back aches something awful some mornings. It hurts to the point that I grunt and groan sometimes when I roll out of bed. Ouch.
And good Lord, menopause. Seriously, I’ve had all that I want to deal with concerning this tragedy. I’m moody, I’m tired, I super-sensitive, and here lately, I just want to assume the fetal position, stay in bed, and consume every episode of American Horror Story. Before October 7th, I had not had a period since January. January, y’all!!! It.is.still.here. IT’S.STILL.HERE! I swear it’s making up for lost time. My doctor kind of chuckled when I asked if there is anything she can cut out because I’m 100% sure I won’t need any of those parts again. Ever.
Now for all the goodness about the past decade
- I’m alive. I should have been eulogized and buried shortly after July 21, 2009, but here I am. For that, I’m grateful.
- I survived a divorce that would have destroyed many people.
- I became a grandmother and if there has ever been a brighter light to shine down, I don’t know what it could be. Well, honestly, her daddy — my baby — is the only person who brings me as much joy.
- I discovered a level of inner strength that I wouldn’t have believed possible when it was all I had left.
- I was privy to what true, unconditional love is from my family and friends.
I have one more year before I hit 50 and when I tell y’all I’m going to live like I’m dying, believe that. I’ve never been on a real vacation. Any time I traveled previously was for my son’s basketball games. I want to go places and clown to the point that I won’t ever be invited back. I want to do the most and have all the fun. I want to reach every single woman in this world and let her know that there is so much goodness after the storms of life has their way with you.
There’s plenty to do and I’m going to do it all.