Today marks the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Mine is a tale of happy endings in a sense since I survived. I came close to dying on July 21, 2009, but here I am. As soon as I knew what was happening to me, I vowed to God that if He allowed me to live, I would use my story — my testimony — to help other women who are trapped in abusive relationships.
It was never a matter of me not springing back at him every chance I got, it’s just that the mental and emotional abuse finally won out. He attempted to continue his crap even after we were divorced through manipulation, by doing things to hurt our son, and monetarily.
He’s moved on to another woman, but not before he tried with all his might to reconcile with me. That’s a chapter (or three) in the book, but believe me when I tell you, that not much has changed with or about him. Abusers won’t change unless they get help. He never got help. Twice, after we got divorced, he told me that I was the one who needed to get counseling if we were to ever get back together. See what I mean?
Anyway, I hope that if you, the reader, are a victim of domestic abuse/violence, know someone who is, or just want to help, the cycle has to stop.
If you are a victim, know that you deserve more than the constant fear. You deserve more than the ridiculous emotional roller coaster that starts, stops, stalls, breaks down, etc. You deserve more.
If you are the friend or family member of someone who you know is being abused, help them get out. Let them know you’re there. Go the extra mile to help her escape so that you don’t end up at her funeral.
If you suspect a friend or family member is being abused, ASK! I was a master at concealing my abuse so it won’t be any easy task to help if she denies it, but just let her know that the door is always open.
Be the friend you would want to have.