One of the things that I’ve never shared here, and have rarely shared with others, even in my closest circle, is that I spent a night in a domestic violence shelter early on in my marriage.
I was sent there (actually, I was escorted there) one night after my ex-husband and I had been arguing and things blew up. He had come in drunk and high, and I wasn’t having it that night. It started around 11:30 that night and he was just making it in from work. He hadn’t worked overtime or anything like that, he had just decided to go out drugging and drinking instead of coming home after work. I was *L*I*V*I*D*! I knew I was going to go after him when he came in, whether or not he was inebriated. I had gotten tired of those habits of his coming before me.
I didn’t have a full understanding of the pull of addiction, all I knew was that he much preferred going out and snorting up half of Denver than spending time with me. Even without the drugs and alcohol, he was still a hateful man. I had seen and experienced, first-hand, just how much of a fool he could be when things didn’t go his way.
I was waiting for him. The second he walked through that door, I started yelling like there was no tomorrow. Initially, he just stared at me and that made me 100 times angrier! He knew that not responding to me when we argued only added fuel to the fire and that night, neither of us were backing down. The long and short of it is that in my rage, I started throwing things. I don’t remember if I hit him or not — I had excellent aim, but he was pretty quick — but I broke up A LOT of stuff. The neighbors called the police and since I had been the one throwing stuff, I had to leave. I told the police that I didn’t have anywhere to go because by that time (around 1:00 AM), I dared not show up at anyone’s house because of that foolishness. As I’ve said numerous times before, no one knew what was going on behind the closed door of my home and I wasn’t itching to tell them.
Even now, some 22 years later, I remember walking into that shelter and feeling a sense of peace that I had not felt in all the time I had lived in Denver up to that date. It was crowded, but there was so much peace in the air. I realize now that, that peace was present because those of us who were there were finally able to sleep or at the very least, lie down without the threat of conflict. Once I was signed in, I slept. Even though it was well after 2 AM before I fell into that wonderful sleep, I had to be up around 6:00 AM to get ready for work.
I never went back there again in any capacity, but it is my intent to go back there someday and offer my services in any capacity that they’ll have me.
Most of you know that I am a sales consultant with Mary Kay and while it’s my intent to start a separate beauty blog, I would like to make mention of a special that Mary Kay is offering right now. It’s important because it benefits the effort to end domestic violence. The Mary Kay foundation strives to end that mess.
If you want to support the effort, go to www.marykay.com/thinton2145 and purchase the lipstick, Hearts Together. I won’t do any advertising for my Mary Kay business on this blog except when it benefits my effort to demolish what nearly demolished me. I would appreciate your support.
Many more horrible nights followed the one that I spent in that shelter, but I will never forget what the four walls of that place provided for me. Domestic violence shelters are a place of safety, security, and peace for women who desperately need it.