I wonder about people who are so consumed by anger and hatred that all they do is conspire to destroy the person or persons they feel wronged them. I have questions, but I also have answers.
Q: While it’s true that some people are angry because they are genuinely hurt and damaged by the acts of another, why are some who actually caused the damage so angry?
A: Because they realize what a mess they’ve made of things, how ridiculous they look, and just what they’ve lost. They’re not angry with you, they’re pissed at themselves. They realize that none of the tricks and foolery they participated in over the years actually worked.
Q: Why would any woman or man stay in a relationship they’ve repeatedly said they don’t want to be in?
A: Money, a certain lifestyle that he or she is unwilling to part with. There are lots of sub-reasons but the real reason is greed. There are other reasons, too.
My ex-husband began threatening me with divorce early-on. When we would argue, he’d tell me that he was going to divorce me when Will turned 13 because that way, Will could fly to see him without having a chaperone. He was so stupid. Shortly after, however, being the manipulative clown he was, he would turn around and tell me that he only said those things because I had made him so mad that wanted to hurt me.
Q: What makes a person pretend to be someone or something he or she isn’t in order to gain access to another person’s life?
A: My ex-husband kept a GINORMOUS secret from me before we got married, but I found out about it within the first two weeks we were married. There had already been so much hurt and pain in that short time we had been married, I was stunned when he told me. I was angry, I was hurt, and I was disgusted. More than anything, I was just stunned. When the shock finally wore off, I asked him why he hadn’t told me before we exchanged vows and he said he was scared I wouldn’t have married him if I had known. I told him that things would never be the same because he had not given me the option to come into the marriage knowing all that I should have. We were doomed from the beginning.
I know of another marriage where the woman pretended to be someone else for over twenty years. She pretended to like all the things the man liked. She pretended to love him. The reason? Greed and materialism. One day, though, the mask fell off and shattered into a million pieces. They’re divorced.
Q: Why do some people go to the grave trying to ruin the lives of others?
A: Because they have no lives of their own. Because they want people to suffer whether it’s deserved or not.
Life, Summed Up
There will always be questions. There will always be answers. There won’t always be sensible answers, but there will be answers.
What I’ve learned in my 48 years is that people are just who and what they are. Sometimes they’ll change in order to fit into your world and to be what you want and sometimes they won’t. What I know is a person has to change for his- or herself. It’s great that he or she wants to make those changes for you, but that can’t be the only reason. Real change will only occur if it for the betterment of yourself.