The Truth Is…

I don’t profess to know everything. None of us knows everything, but I’ve lived long enough and experienced enough to know a few truths. There are gray areas where things can go this way or that, but even in those, the truth will find its way out.

What Goes Around Comes Around, Karma, Whatever…

I don’t care what you call it, what you give is what you’ll get. Period. In the Bible, it’s referred to as reaping what you sow. In the secular arena, it’s called karma, gettin’ yours, kismet, cosmic comeuppance. Whatever you call it, the bottom line is it’s all about cause and effect. There was a period in my life when I was all about getting even with folks who had wronged me (according to my own definition of “wronged”). I was never more of a superstar at that foolishness than during the 19 years I was married. Honestly, he started it, but I sure did keep it going. It all started with that freakin’ box of Fruit Loops. We both liked them and had been eating them for breakfast for more than a week but the last morning before the mess started, there wasn’t enough milk for both of us. I just happened to get to it first and since I don’t like a lot of milk in my cereal, I ended up leaving what would have only covered the bottom of the bowl for him. That ticked him off. In all sincerity, I didn’t do it to piss him off, but he got mad. He called me at work and asked me why I had only left him a “teaspoon” of milk and of course, I thought it was funny, so I was cracking up. He kind of chuckled and said, “I’m gonna get you back.” Well, we both had a mad love for ice cream (I still do) and that’s where he chose to get me back. My mouth was watering for a nice big bowl of vanilla bean ice cream, so I headed over to the freezer, after a long, hard day at work, just drooling. Guess what? There was literally only a teaspoon left.

The shenanigans only got worse from that point. Things got a lot worse because, underneath all the funny get-you-backs, there was anger brewing. Ultimately, things became extremely personal and eventually, we were flat out hurting each other. One day, I decided that I wasn’t going to participate anymore. He kept going. It should be obvious that I wasn’t a docile, little chick who didn’t know how to hit the ball back over the net; I just didn’t want to. I let karma handle it all. Once, he was getting ready to go out to get coked up and got made because I wouldn’t drive him. We argued because I just refused to help him ruin his life so before long, he told me he would take the bus. He slammed the door behind him and headed to the bus stop. He didn’t come home until the next morning…limping. He had fallen on the curb and broken his ankle. Karma, y’all. Karma.

Every Road Has to End Somewhere

That’s not just a song. Whether it’s good or bad, everything ends at some point. The solace in that is the troubles, heartaches, pain, and struggle will indeed end. You may not see the end of the road. You may not have caught a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but trust me, my friend, it’s there. When my divorce proceedings began in November 2012, I was stunned to the point that most days, I was just there. I was just present. Once the shock wore off, and the packing began, I honestly did not believe that I would ever finish, let alone make it back to Louisiana. I did. It took two huge Uhaul trips and probably five stuffed SUV trips, but that move was finally completed on August 24, 2013, when I closed the door to my home in Allen, Texas for the last time. I cried for two full hours of the four-hour ride to Louisiana. Closing that door hurt. Although my marriage had officially been over since March 5, 2013, I didn’t reach the dead-end of the road I had traveled on since October 23, 1993, until late that summer. The good news is that every single time one road ends, another one inevitably pops up. Be prepared for the newness and embrace it. 

You Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar

Flies are pesky and I can’t imagine anyone wanting to catch the nasty little things, but you’ll get more of them with sweetness that with the stench of vinegar. I’ve watched countless people lose out of some of the best things in life because of a jacked-up attitude. No one in this life owes you anything, and you can rest assured that your chances of being passed over for everything from promotions to party invitations by coming forth with a stank attitude. Nobody has time to deal with ignorance. I’ve never had this problem because I think it’s ridiculous to approach anyone with anything but a good attitude regardless of how your day is going, but I know people who just can’t seem to get out of that rut. Just keep being rude and see what it gets you.

Live and Learn

With age comes wisdom. Well, it should anyway. Life is meant to be pleasant. I hope these truths help you live a better one.

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Women's Lives


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