Love, Fear, and Life


By some accounts, emotions show up in two forms: love and fear. It is said that all other forms of emotions are variations of these two basic emotions. Let’s look at them.

The first one I want to talk about is fear. Anxiety, anger, control, sadness, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, lonely, guilt, and shame. These “sub emotions” bring on a barrage of strongholds including poor self-esteem, pride, stubbornness, a victim mentality, or defeatism. Almost all these emotions and “sub emotions” are the result of abuse of some sort. They are the result of our interaction with the people who are closest to us and/or the ones we deal with on the most often. Maybe it’s the abusive spouse. Maybe it’s the abusive parent. Perhaps a person has been emotionally beaten to pieces at a place of worship. Wherever it stems from, it’s the result of someone else’s inadequacies. Abusers abuse. That’s all they know to do. They create a vicious cycle of abuse. It can be never-ending. It does have to need at some point though. It just has to.

The second emotion of note is love. Some of the “sub emotions” of love are joy, happiness, caring, trust, compassion, truth, contentment, and satisfaction. These are glorious and blissful to say the least. These, too, are the result of our interaction with other people. They, too, are passed on to the folks we cherish and around to the folks we believe in. They should be freely given. They are issued by mentally and emotionally healthy people. They should be standard, but they’re not. Life can thwart us in the worst ways, causing us to become all the things in the previous paragraph. I don’t believe it has to be that way.

For some people, it takes a drastic change in his or her circumstances or situations to grow emotionally. It takes the laws of karma to make some people understand just how devastating it is to be beaten to a bloody pulp mentally and emotionally. Sometimes a person who has skipped through life belittling, demeaning and mentally stomping other has to be on the receiving end of his or her type of behavior to understand, FULLY understand, that the things they’ve done in the past are not okay. Sometimes, a man or woman has to have his or her heart broken to understand what it felt like of the person he or she did it to. Sometimes, the physical things that comes with the emotional stomping has to happen to the perpetrator. My ex left me with a 3500 sq. ft. home to pack, $250 to assist in the transfer of not only my things but a lot of his, two vehicles that were on life support and a host of other mess. He had decided to move back to Dallas because in his mind, even after all that crap he’d put me through, we were going to get back together. His truck broke down just as he got over the Louisiana border from Mississippi. After some weeks, he told me that he “felt” what I had felt when his truck sputtered out on him. You see, in my effort to keep a sense of normalcy for my son, he was scheduled to start football camp in Grambling in the summer of 2013, and we took to the road, me following him. His car started sputtering, so we pulled over, I had him take my truck and I followed as closely as I could in his putter. I managed to get his car to Mama’s but it refused to start when it was time for us to go back to Dallas. By the time we made it back to Dallas in my truck, it was running hot. Anyway…

Just as much as I know that sometimes it takes drastic change to create empathy in a person, I also believe that change can occur just by opening your heart and mind. Feelings and emotions are contagious. Pass along the goodness. Work on those emotions that you know will wreak havoc on another person’s mentality. Love can and will drive you farther than fear ever will.

Women's LivesNaBloPoMo April 2015


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