In a few hours, I will be back on the road to Texas, after spending the weekend with my mom. I am always so happy to see her, along with my nephew and brother. What I’ve discovered is how completely relaxed I become the minute I make the turn on to my mom’s street. No headache, no hideous pain in my neck, my tingling in my arms. My thoughts become clearer and my mind is no racing with all the worries.
Mama will be 81 on December 16th, and every day is a blessing that I cherish with her. She still has an incredible sense of humor (sometimes, it gets out of hand), and a personality to match. She has been a mentor to many but to me, she’s more. Now that I am a parent, I realize that we make mistakes. I have been known to place the death grip on Will when it comes to letting him do things, and I still make a point of finding out nearly every detail of the things he’s involved in, but I’m letting go. Mama was not as lenient with me because 99% of the time, I was the only Black person involved in whatever was going on. She feared for my safety. There is nothing in this world deeper than a mother’s love.
I intend to go back to my roots and be a better person. Watching my mom and knowing the principles, morals and values that she and her sisters instilled in us makes me want to be as much like them as I can. People change as they grow older but the teachings they receive as children are everlasting. None of us were raised to drink, smoke (cigarettes or anything else), do drugs, stay out all hours of the night, or to be disrespectful. That’s not to say that some of us aren’t participating in all kinds of foolishness now, but it’s not because we weren’t taught better. We were. I won’t allow Will to run wild, and I owe that attitude to my mom. She did the very best she could with us. My mom doesn’t cuss and has never drank or smoke. I’m not saying that she was totally pure and innocent in all things but she certainly tries to be as good as she can, as often as she can.
My mission is to be like her.