I’ve always known that certain people in my life GENUINELY love me, others, I’ve doubted. When this ‘thing’ happened, I discovered just how deeply some people care for me and I *know* that love from not only my family, but also from my friends, is what pulled me through.
Naturally, my initial thought was “What will happen to my child?” He not only depends on me to be there as a parent, he truly considers me his friend. My prayer was that God spare me because I know he needs me. Since he was born, the two of us have been inseparable and our bond is a lot stronger than most between kids and their parents. I do my best to raise him to be respectful yet firm in his own beliefs and values. I was so fearful that he would no longer get that teaching if I were gone. I knew he would get it if he were allowed to see my family often, but I there is the off-chance that he may not. He depends on me to be there when he needs to talk, when he needs to vent and when he just wants a shoulder to lie his head on.
My sister, nephew and mom were distraught with the news. My sister is still reeling from the loss of her boyfriend of 27 years. She has come a very long way in coping with his death but I think my incident brought that horrible day back to her in a crushing fashion.
The incident proved so devastating for my nephew that he went on a bender like none other. He still struggles with alcohol and to be honest, his problem became a part of my problem.
I am still recovering and likely will be for a few more months to come. I am using this time to not only recover but to build my personal relationship with God. I’ve stepped away from Him but I must get back in His favor. His is the ultimate love.